As many of you know, I am a runner. I don’t run every day, but I try to get out as much as I can. I don’t always go far, but I try to make every run count in some way. I didn’t always run, not in high school or college, but I can’t imagine not doing it now. It has become a huge part of who I am. The story of how I became a runner is on my About Me page, and I encourage you to go check it out.
While the story of How I became a runner is interesting, the fact that I did it at all is the important part. It wasn’t easy! Those hot days running down the old highway on the little bit of a shoulder with vehicles flying past me. Not realizing that I was running at a stupid time of day when I could have gone early when it wasn’t as hot. Not realizing that I was going out too fast and that it wasn’t all about speed. I had so many runs where I felt sick from the heat and overexertion, but I kept doing it. I’m not sure why. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was building something in me that would see me through some long, hard runs—grit. I could have easily said that I felt terrible and that I could find some other indoor exercise to do, but I didn’t. I just thought that this was what running was, and I kept going.
I remember 9-11 and going for a run in the afternoon after watching the second plane hit the tower, watching the towers fall, and then the other crashes into the Pentagon and the field in Pennsylvania. I didn’t know what was going to happen next. I didn’t know what this meant for our country. That afternoon, I put on my shoes, and I ran. I knew I was going too hard and too fast. I didn’t care. I ran as tears streamed down my face. I ran until I wanted to throw up. Then I walked. I tried to wrap my head around what was going on and couldn’t because I had no basis of reference for what might happen next. That was probably the first time I ran for stress relief.
I have kept going when it’s hot, cold, windy, rainy. I remember waiting for my husband to come home from work to be with the kids so I could go run. One time I was literally sitting at the breakfast bar in running clothes and shoes with the kids in bed waiting for him. He finally came home and as soon as he stepped in the door, I was gone. It was 9:00 at night, but I needed a RUN! I needed to get OUT!
I am an unlikely runner. I was never fast and now I’m even slower than I was. I keep running because I love what it gives me. A break from reality. Time to think. Time to process all of the things that are going on in my life and in my head. Endorphins that make me feel good afterward no matter how hard the run was. I started running longer, farther, and at all times of the day. I kept pushing myself to see what else I could do. It has not been easy. I have had injuries and gotten dehydrated and overheated. I have felt sick and “hit the wall” more times that I can count. I have had breaks from running that were unintentional because sometimes life has gotten to the point where just getting through the day has been hard enough because of all of the things pulling me in different directions. I have always come back to it.
I’ve read the saying, “If you want to change your body, start exercising. If you want to change your life, be a runner.” I cannot tell you how true this is. I cannot explain all of the good things running has done for me. It has changed my entire outlook on who I am and where I want to go in this life. Running has given me clarity when I need to figure something out. Running has given me stress relief when I am anxious and feel the cortisol surging through me. Running has helped me process grief. My runs have shown me that no matter how bad they get, how much I hurt, they will eventually end; while some people, those who have lost children, have way more pain than I do and that pain will never end. So what if I hurt or feel like I might throw up or am hot or cold. It’s just temporary.
Running has also given me strong legs, helped keep my weight somewhat at bay during times when my thyroid has decided to stop working very well, and to build endurance. Running combined with strength training has helped me prevent some injuries, rehab others, and build muscle to do all kinds of things. I don’t recommend running without any strength, agility, or flexibility work. They all go together for a total package of fitness, strength, and stamina.
More than anything, running has given me the life I want. I want adventure. I want the outdoors. I want to run and feel my problems shrink and become more manageable. I want to come down a hill on a trail and feel that exhilaration of quick footing and speed to the bottom. I want to climb to the top of a hill, look at the view, and know that I can do hard things.
I am a runner.
Peace from the Edge,
Julia
