January is drawing to a close, and I realized that I hadn’t shared my monthly theme with you! As I alluded to in a previous post, for the past few years I have selected a them for the year, a word of the year, and a theme for each month. I don’t choose any of these in advance. I choose them based on where I am at in that moment of time. As I am moving forward with starting a business, one of the big problems I have is procrastination. As I have discovered, the main reason for procrastination is Fear. Therefore, my theme for January is Everything You Want is on the Other Side of Fear. Which brings me to the title of this post—How is Fear holding you back?
The type of Fear can be anything from something that is physical or something that is all emotional. In the photo above, you see a beautiful sunset over a frozen lake that is covered in snow and snowmobile tracks. While logic tells me that people who have studied this know that a certain amount of ice depth is safe for walking, snowmobiling, or driving vehicles on, the irrational part of me tells me that this ice could crack at any minute, and I could plunge to an icy death. Facing the fear of driving on this, and what’s more-letting my kids drive on this-has been HUGE for me! This is the actual snowmobile trail. Hundreds of people drive on it (which, by the way, promotes the building of even more ice under where people drive thus making it even thicker), so why would I be the one to break through and die? I have had many rides on ice clutching the handles and pushing the throttle as far as I dare to get across that ice as fast as possible. I don’t know if I will ever feel 100% comfortable driving on ice, but have gotten to the point where I am not gripped by panic and practically in tears when we have to cross it.
Thinking about my Fear with this business, it is the Fear of people thinking that I don’t know what I’m doing or that I am not credible. There is the Fear of changing where I am now in my life and the possibility of things not working out the way I want them to. What will life be like if I actually do this thing and make these changes and that might be scary and will I be able to sustain it?
When I sit down and logically think through these things, like breaking through the ice, they make no sense. I know that I’m qualified. I coach families at a children’s hospital. I even co-founded the program! I was trained to be a therapist and then to be a wellness coach and have years of experience helping people make lifestyle changes in a variety of areas. I know how to set up a program and deliver it. I know how to collect and analyze data. I know what I am talking about when it comes to health and wellness. So why am I be standing there facing this wall of Fears when I know that I know what I’m doing?
What about the Fear of things not working out? Well, that’s always a chance. I’m still working on that one. Something I do know, however, is that if I don’t put in the work, I will never get the business off the ground and I will never know if it even could have worked out. There are lots of pieces that go into this and lots of places where things could go wrong. I have good mentors and guides, and if I walk through things methodically, I should cover all of those bases and minimize my chances for screw ups. Am I going to screw up? Absolutely. Can I recover from it? Absolutely! Yet, there is still that little part of my brain that says, “Weeeellll…maybe not.” That part needs to shut up.
Finally, and this is a big one for many of us, what if it does work out and what if things actually change? Even when things aren’t going the way we want them to, but aren’t horribly terrible, we at least know what to expect if we stay in our same situation. I know that I can barely get some things done now; how am I going to run a business and fit all of that into my current schedule? How am I going to have time to do it well? How long can I do that for?
BUT…what are the risks if I don’t? What am I trying to change? How much is it worth to me? What would life be like if I make this business work? What opportunities would present themselves? What possibilities do I see? None of those opportunities and possibilities will be there if I don’t do this thing. Then I end up with regret. Probably guilt. And never being able to answer the question, “What if it had worked out?”
Everything You Want is on the Other Side of Fear.
What are those fears are that are holding you back, making you procrastinate, and what is it that you really want? I’m sure you all have something that you want to do, but are too scared to do. You all have your own frozen lake to cross. Remember that when you move past that Fear, you will start to see the other side, and there you will see Everything You Want.
This weekend I will sit down and come up with my theme for February. I’m pretty sure it is going to play off this month’s theme and continue to find ways to push me toward Everything I Want.
Gosh, friends. This isn’t easy! We are in this together, and we are going to find a way to get past those Fears! Ok. Time to get to work.
Peace from the Edge,
Julia
