A couple of years ago when I first got the idea to start a blog, I had stumbled across Ruth Soukup’s book “Do It Scared.” The book is about finding out what is holding you back from doing the things you want to do and pursuing your dreams. Usually what is holding us back is fear. Fear comes in many different forms which are a part of our personality. Ruth had a quiz you could take that would help you identify your “fear archetype.” The book then went into detail about these different fears and what you could do to overcome them. No surprise—one of my top ones was Procrastinator. In fact, I was surprised that it wasn’t sitting at #1 by a landslide. As I read more about this archetype, there were things that I definitely agreed with and things that didn’t fit quite so well. That’s ok, though, because there are other pieces of personality at play that moderate my procrastination, and to be honest, I don’t really want to fit nicely into all of the corners of the Procrastination box because that seems like a pretty restricting place to be.
Today, on National Fight Procrastination Day, I thought we could look a little more at what procrastination is and how we can work to overcome it. At the heart of procrastination is often perfectionism. With perfectionism comes the desire to be perfect, obviously, but also the fear that you might do something that is not perfect which would cause great anxiety. Ruth describes some positive attributes of procrastinators as being highly organized, producing high quality work, loving research, and having a high level of attention to detail. On the other hand, she says that procrastinators tend to not start something if they don’t think they can do it perfectly. They have a fear of not doing things right and can be very critical of themselves.
If you know me, you know that several of those qualities describe me exactly. I will say that over the years I’ve gotten better about not being perfect and just doing the best that I can because as a mom, I realized that getting it done with some mistakes or not perfect was better than not getting things done at all. “It is what it is.” I can’t tell you how many times my Aunt Teresa and I have said that to each other. (And then we completely go overboard on something after telling ourselves and each other that we wouldn’t.) More and more, though, I am making the decision to do the best that I can and let go of the rest including the guilt of not doing something perfectly because I am just over dealing with the anxiety that comes with trying to do it all or do it exactly right.
Ruth’s book also talks about how Perfectionism can hold you back. Among the several things that she describes, these are the ones that hit home for me.
- Spending all my time researching and planning that I never actually do anything.
- Not meeting my own expectations and then feeling frustrated.
- Feeling overwhelmed by the thought of making a mistake.
Ruth goes on to talk about ways to overcome this. Interestingly, one of the things she talks about is something that I learned in my Wellcoaches training which is that mistakes are just lessons that we can learn from. They aren’t fatal. When I was learning this, there was a lot of talk in the ultrarunning Facebook groups that I follow about how to fuel for long runs. (Fuel = Food) My trail running friend, Mindy, and I had many discussions about fat-adapted diets and the various other schools of thought around fueling for endurance sports. People in these groups finally started getting tired of the back and forth about the best or right diet and some started to say that we are all an experiment of one. What works for one person might not work for another. Pairing this with what I learned in Wellcoaches, I started thinking of many things as “experiments of one.” I use this with my clients all the time when I encourage them to not worry about failing (I hate that word) and just try something. If it doesn’t work out, we tweak the plan and try again.
Another way to combat procrastination is to just start. Ruth recommends giving yourself deadlines and finding a was to hold yourself accountable. Tell yourself that it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done. Essentially, it boils down to the title of the book which is to do it even if you are scared, worried, or unsure of how it will turn out. Take the leap. Make the move. Just. Start.
I totally understand all of this as it pertains to big things like starting a new project, taking on a new job, trying to change habits. But what is it about small things that I don’t do when it would literally take minutes? I can put that stuff off for months! Why?? Why do I start things and not finish them? I am still searching for the answers to those questions. I took a huge leap in starting my own business and leaving the comfort of my full-time job; but I can’t finish packing away dance costumes that are still strewn around the basement or put away craft supplies that my kids drug out? Maybe it has something to do with not knowing how I want to organize what I’m doing and wanting to do it “right” the first time so I don’t have to re-do it later? Or maybe because I think that it’s small and I have more important things to do? Maybe it’s a task that I just don’t like so I put it off.
Whatever it is, I need to fight the urge to put tasks, small and large, off for an indefinite amount of time. I have put some of those things on my To-Do list for today. Small things that I have been putting off all summer are going to get done today. How will I feel when these things are done?
- Accomplished
- Satisfied
- Happy
- Relieved
- Organized (Yes, that is also a feeling and one that brings me joy.)
Let’s all make a vow to ourselves that we will quit putting things, small and large, off for another time. Let’s take the leap. Do something even if it might be kind of a mess at first. Chase those good feelings of having done it instead of letting the anxiety of not doing it build up.
If you want to learn more about Ruth Soukup and her book, Do It Scared, along with all of the other fear archetypes, check her out at ruthsoukup.com.
Peace from The Edge,
Julia
