Today I went back through my posts and read one that I wrote a little over a year ago. It was about my theme for 2021 and a reflection back on the goals I didn’t accomplish in 2020. In the post, I reflect back to the world shutting down when COVID first hit and the year that just seemed to spiral down forever for many of us. I started to cry as I read it because even though I lived it, and I think about it, to read what happened and what my kids went through is remarkable. All of our kids endured going from life as we’ve always known it to the entire world completely shut down in a matter of days. As parents, we didn’t even know how to guide them because we’d never been through anything like this and never even imagined this would happen. We were all just doing the best that we could.
I am not a very religious person although I am rather spiritual if that makes any sense. As I say in that post, I did not see it at the time, but the reason, I think, that God did not push me in the direction of starting my business at that time was because he knew what was coming and knew that all of my focus would need to be on my kids. For my kids and several others in our community, there were some tragedies, some losses, that I still can’t comprehend and never will. How did we not just give up? How did we get up each day and get dressed or make food or any part of daily functioning? How did my kids, my husband, me pull ourselves together from the first loss and somehow face the next loss that we knew was coming? God knew it would take everything we had to process our own grief while supporting our children through theirs and preparing them for more at the same time. God knew that nothing I wanted to do was more important that trying to get through 2020 and into 2021.
With my epiphany of my Big Idea this week, it all of a sudden hit me that the reason this idea came to me when it did is because God is saying, “Now. You are ready now. I kept this thing from you because I knew you would be able to think of nothing else if I gave it to you. Now is the time.” Even though my doubt of God having a hand in our lives was pretty strong, I am seeing it now. I will never understand why my kids have gone to funerals for 3 friends before one was a senior and one was a freshman in high school, but maybe I’m starting to understand God and the Universe a little more. It’s funny how sometimes it takes looking back to see that you really are on the right path just like I did a year ago when I looked back and realized that the Universe knew how much I would need to focus on my kids and kept me in the space I was in. I am even more confident that I am doing the right thing now. I am ready.
My message to all of you:
You are stronger than you think you are.
You can do more than you think you can.
Sometimes it takes looking back to find the right time.
Peace.
Julia
